Saturday, November 10, 2007

ADDITIONAL STATEMENT ON MOMMY CAT

I CONTINUE TO STAND BY MOMMY CAT
I have every intention of standing by Mommy Cat, the love of my life and the mother of my four children. Contrary to statements issued by some individuals who will remain nameless, they are four of the cutest little Kippies you've ever seen. The little Tuxedo kippy is very vocal, active, and is already exploring the world around him, even though his eyes are not yet open. Mommy Cat continues to be the Purrfect Mother, dedicated to our precious little family. I do not appreciate those who would discredit and malign her character by suggesting I am not the father of my Puptens.


Tuesday, November 6, 2007

BREAKING: I SUPPORT MY FAMILY

Much is being made of my relationship with Mommy Cat and the sudden and surprise birth of our babies on November 5, 2007. Mommy Cat and I are legally married, and have been since July 4, 2007. We are thrilled and excited to be parents. Contrary to campaign gossip, I am fully supportive of my little family and have plans to be a 'hands on' parent, and plan to do everything possible to assist the love of my life as she cares for our precious blessings.

I am dismayed, though, that I have not been allowed to see my family yet. There are vicious discussions about my play-boy reputation and the fact that I might try to have inappropriate contact with the little ones and could endanger their safety. This is not true. Mommy Cat is quite selfish in her solitude. I respect her need for privacy while she bonds with our family.

I am taking steps to make these little ones welcome into my family. I am eager to accept the responsibility of parenthood including financial responsibilities. This being the case, I have petitioned my mommy for an increase in my allowance.

I would like to state, for the record, my family values have absolutely nothing, nothing to do with Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America's Presidential campaign.

Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead
ChairPoodle
Dogs for Doc

Saturday, October 13, 2007

EX-CLUSIVE: PIG BOULDEN QUITS DOC HOLIDAY CAMPAIGN

Pig Boulden has just informed me he cannot in good conscience continue as Pug-Co-Chair of the Doc Holiday, Purrfect (?) for America Campaign. He feels after Doc so cruelly blinded him when he was a baby pug-let that Doc has a serious problem with anger management and is not kind to Canine-Americans.

So I ask you, do you really think Doc Holiday is Purrfect for America?

Rumsfeld
Too Cute to Be Bad!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

BOORRRING!


I don't know about you, but all this debate kitty-litter-poo is making me bored! Doc is on an ego trip.

I'm going to have a nap. Trust me, Doc's napping as much as I am.

Rumsfeld
Too Cute to be Bad!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

BREAKING EXPOSE: IS DOC HOLIDAY ILL?

.
If you don't hear it from me, I doubt if anyone else will tell you. DOC HOLIDAY IS ILL. I think she is seriously ill. Frankly, I think she is too sick (mentally) to be President of the United States. She goes around coughing all the time. She coughs and coughs and coughs, then gets really nasty with me. Mommy says it is because she has a fur ball, but between us, I think it is MUCH MUCH WORSE. When Doc was a baby she had kitty herpes. I think she is sick again.

DOC HOLIDAY THE PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW - HOW SICK ARE YOU?

If you are watching the big debate, maybe you should ask - is Doc Holiday Purrfect for America?

Why is Doc Holiday hiding her condition from her supporters?

Is she afraid we will dump her when we discover the truth?

Friday, October 5, 2007

I AM A BLESSED POODLE-AMERICAN!


Wednesday evening my mommy let me put on my new T-shirt (Too Cute to Be Scary) and then we went to St. Francis Day at church. It was lots of fun. I got to see my half-brother Zach! This year he was the one who got in trouble. So did his "sister" Peaches. Peaches has a tragic story. She was born during the bad horrorcane in New Orleans and had to be rescued with her mommy. She now has a good home and is happy. But she got fussed at too!

For the first time I was the bestest behaved poodle in church!

Then, Fr. Tom blessted me. Fr. Tom is cool. He even knew Ronald Reagan. Now how great is that - me, Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead being blessed by a priest who knew Ronald Reagan! Fr. Tom has only been a priest for a little while, but my mommy says he's gonna be a great priest. We waz all extited when he gotted to be one.

Wanna know why?

Fr. Tom likes people like me. He and his family have horses, pony, cats, dogs, a bird, and they even have a brain damaged cat that Victoria rescued. They're good people. I think it is important for people like me to be blested by priestests like Fr. Tom who love us. After all, that's what St. Francis did was love little people like me.

(Grin)

Now, see how sweet this article is? Let's see if Doc Holiday Purrfect for America? can top it! Cute wins - always!

Rumsfeld
Too Cute to Be Bad!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

"PIG" BOULDEN'S STORY


While Doc Holiday, "Purrfect" (yea right) for America is out being all pompous and acting like a big, important Presidential candidate, I want to introduce the honorary co-Pug for DOGS FOR DOC, "Pig" Boulden. Pig and I are cousins, but he is a few years older than I am. Here's his picture with our grandmother.

(All this happened before I was born. I may not have the dates right, but I can get the medical records from Dr. Franklin to prove my story is truthful and accurate).

When Pig was just a little Pug, he came to New Mexico to visit his grandparents. Pig comes from a home where the Feline-Americans are kind an loving. You also need to remember he was just a little kid at the time when he started chasing Doc Holiday around the house. He chased Doc up under my mommy's sofa. Doc Holiday lashed out at this innocent Pug by smacking him in the eye and blinding him!

Doc Holiday (Purrfect for America?) seriously injured Pig with those vicious claws of hers.

We just thought you should know about this because sometimes she is not nice to Canine-Americans!

Friday, September 28, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: CAUGHT NAPPING


Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America, said she was out on the campaign trail, and attending the rally for Skunk Americans. Never happened. As this X-clusive photo will show, I, Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead, caught Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America, napping. That's all she does is nap.

Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America is a fraud.

I will also have an X-clusive story about "Pig Boulden", who is considering the invitation to join Dogs for Doc as Vice Chairpug. Pig, my favorite relative, has a tragic story about his interactions with Doc Holiday. You may not believe me about how mean she is, but maybe you will believe Pig. And, he has the medical records to prove his point!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

NAPPING OR WORKING? You Decide!

THE CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS



BAT & I DO ALL THE WORK! Contrary to popular opinion, Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America only put in a token amount of work today as Bat Masterson and I helped to install the new HP wireless printer along with the minimal and worthless assistance of our Human-American staff. Doc made the usual campaign appearance, and posed for photographs. She paw-printed a few autographs, and then zoomed out, on to another nap...ummm....campaign appearance.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE?

Contrary to popular opinion, Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America, does not spend as much time out campaigning as she claims.

BREAKING NEWS SCANDAL
Is Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America spending as much time on the campaign litter box as she is claiming or is she napping?

In an
EXCLUSIVE DEVELOPMENT
I have exclusive photos exposing the sham that is Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America as she claims to be out on yet another campaign appearance but is in reality napping.

MY CHALLENGE
TO DOC HOLIDAY

Are you
PURRFECT for AMERICA
as you claim - or
are you just another lazy napping FELINE-AMERICAN?

The Public Has A Right to Know!
Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead
Too Cute to Be Bad!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A RUMSFELD X-CLUSIVE!


Grand-Mommy-Cat and the Offending Little Ones Do Brunch
These are the kitties the nasty neighbor doesn't want my mommy to feed. Can you imagine that? Just look at the little one with the white nose. She looks just like one of my best pals, Miss Scarlet (my grandmother's kitty). The little tuxedo kitty is missing. I hope he is okay.

I am rushing to get these photos up before Doc does. She will claim that she took the pictures, but I was standing right beside my mommy when they were taken. It's my exclusive, not Doc's!

Rumsfeld
To Cute to Be Bad!

Monday, September 17, 2007

RECONSIDERING MY SUPPORT

I am currently reconsidering my support for Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America. We've had a bit of a difference of opinion.

Okay, I'll spill it all. Doc and I were doing fairly well until Saturday night when she held my new chewy pretzel hostage and refused to allow me access up the steps to get it. She threatened me with her CLAWS.

Now, I am seriously wondering, do we need someone like Doc Holiday as President of the United States.

I know she thinks she is Purrfect - but she is Purrfectly beastly!

There, I said it.

Rumsfeld
To Cute to Be Bad!

Monday, September 10, 2007

EXHAUSTED CHAIRPOODLE FORCED TO TAKE A BREAK


DOGS FOR DOC CHAIRPOODLE
SUFFERING FROM EXHAUSTION


BREAKING NEWS: Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead, Dogs for Doc Chairpoodle is suffering from exhaustion. He has worked so hard trying to get Canine-Americans to understand how important it is for Doc Holiday, Purrfect for America to be elected POTUS that he has now suffered a break-down! He is currently sleeping it off, much like Harpo Marx did his insomnia.




Saturday, September 8, 2007

MY LIFE STORY - BY DOC HOLIDAY


Seven years ago this evening, September 8, 2000, my birth mother abandoned me. I was born 9 days earlier, on August 31. I don’t know where. My eyes were just starting to open, but all I could see was darkness. It was night-time. She was carrying me, and suddenly I was on very cold cement. I waited for a minute, but she did not come back. I cried and cried, but she never ever came back. There I was just a little baby, all alone in the dark, crying, screaming for a mommy who never ever came back. I was terrified. I was screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming, but mommy never came back to rescue me.

My “real” mommy had opened the door to the balcony on her condo. She heard me crying. In case you don’t know it, my mommy is a ‘sucker’ for lost kittens. She put on a jacket and got in her big, red, Durango and drove around looking for me.
She found me all alone on the cold cement floor in a deserted carport. My birth mommy was no where in sight.

She picked me up and held me close. I was still crying and trembling. She held me to keep me warm as she drove back to what became my home. She wrapped me in a warm cloth and held me as she called Dr. Franklin. I was crying, very loud. He told mommy what to get to feed me. She took me with her in the big red Durango as she drove to the store, and carried me inside with her, as she bought powdered baby milk.


After we went back home, Clancy, a very nice miniature poodle who died a couple of years ago wanted to play with me. Siggy and Brunhilda were curious. My new mommy was very upset. She found a little tiny Igloo cooler and put warm towels in it. She taped a pencil on the top of the cooler so the lid would not completely close. That way I would be warm and have plenty of good air to breathe. I was still crying. She mixed the powdered kitty milk and fed me with a dropper. It didn’t taste good, but she forced me to drink a whole dropper of it. Dr. Franklin said if I did not eat it I would die. Just a little while ago she told me Dr. Franklin said he did not think I was going to live through the night. After she fed me she put me in the warm ‘incubator’ where I still cried, but not as loud. Finally I fell asleep. But, she woke me up again and made me eat again.

Then she woke me up again and made me eat again.
The next time she woke me up one of my eyes opened. The light was strange. She made me eat, then she put me back in the incubator and we went in the big red Durango again. This time we went to see Dr. Franklin. He told mommy most of the time when birth mothers run off and leave babies like me, it is because there is something wrong with us. He told her he did not think I was going to live. I did not want to drink out of a bottle. All day Dr. Franklin and his friends forced me to drink. The powdered kitty milk made me very sick and I nearly died, again. But, by late in the afternoon I was ready to go back to my new home.

Mommy was having a big party. She picked me up in the big red Durango and made sure that Clancy did not bother me. We drove to Grandmother’s house for the party. Later that night, my god-mother Lisa came home with mommy because mommy was upset about her friend who ruined the party. Lisa fed me a couple of times that night, then left. I think I met her maybe once or twice again, but that was it.


And so we fell into a routine. Mommy would feed me every three hours at first. I did not know that mommy cats would like the bottoms of babies because we did not potty. Even as a tiny baby the process we used to potty was humiliating. Mommy would take warm q-tips and dampen them and make me potty. It was not fun. As I got bigger she would stick my tushie under the water. I would scream and scratch her. It is a wonder I do not have a phobia about water.

Finally, one day she let me come out of the incubator to play. I wasn’t very big. Siggy and Brunhilda were curious about me, but not all that interested. Mommy would hold me and feed me with a bottle. Then she would let me go to sleep on her arm while she typed on her computer. I still like doing this, but mommy says now that I weigh nearly 20 pounds I am too heavy to hold for very long. I still help her type. It is my favorite place, my mommy time.

One day mommy’s friend came to visit. They had an argument and I wanted to play with him. He threw me on the floor. Mommy got mad and told him he and to leave and never to come back. If he could not be nice to a baby kitten then she did not want …well, I think there was more to it than that, but you know how little kids are. We blame ourselves for everything.
When I was about 5 weeks old, mommy discovered that my birth mommy was now living in our carport with three of my siblings. She was able to catch my brother who found a nice family. It took her three days to catch GeorgieW. My other sister got away, but would come back to live in the carport. Grand-mommy-cat, Mommy Cat’s mommy is her descendent, so everyone here is related.

GeorgieW did not want to live. She was going to die. Siggy adopted her and she started getting beautiful and strong, but she was never as big and strong as me. I still miss her very much.
When I was a baby, mommy first named me Beverly Sills because of my loud voice. But Dr. Franklin said I was a little boy. Mommy decided I needed a name that would make people be afraid of me because I was so little and fragile so she named me Doc Holiday. Dr. Franklin was wrong. I am a girl.

And so life went on, happily. Then in February 2005 Clancy suddenly died. A few weeks later Siggy died of old age. Our family started to change, for the worst. A few days after Clancy died cat-astrophe struck my happy home. Mommy adopted Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead. Life has never been the same. I do admit I stay up sometimes thinking of ways to get rid of the little monster. Later, in August, mommy rescued two more kittens. It became my responsibility to care for Mommy Cat (we had no name for her then) and Demon Cat. I will admit Demon Cat was my favorite. He and I were buddies, but he had some very bad habits. He also wasn’t a nice kitty. He now lives in San Patricio in a barn where he catches pigeons and has a very good life. Mommy Cat had babies. Then Brunhilda died.

Our family now consists of Mommy Cat, Little Joe Cartwright, Bat Masterson, monster dog, and moi.
Now I am a mature adult. I am running for President of the United States. I am a well adjusted person, but there are many times when I stop and wonder why my birth mommy abandoned me. Did she really leave me there to die or did something scare her? I always tell myself it was the latter, but at night, when even Rumsfeld is quite, thoughts that I was not good enough come back to haunt me.

Friday, September 7, 2007

CAMPAIGN DISCUSSIONS CAN BE EXHAUSTING!

Currently Rumsfeld, Chair-poodle for Dogs for Doc is napping. He and Doc Holiday had a heated argument today about "campaign tactics" and both are resting. He is currently working on a fund-raising options.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

CANINE-AMERICANS FOR DOC HOLIDAY FOR PRESIDENT


Several Canine-Americans have decided to jump on the Doc Holiday is Purrfect for America Bandwagon. Doc and I have settled our differences. I am now one of her biggest supporters. I am pleased to introduce Dogs for Doc, where I am the Chairpoodle. I am also thrilled to have been named an Honorary Chairpoodle for Doc Holiday is Purrfect for America!

If you are a Canine-American who would like to support Doc Holiday, please let me know. I will be glad to include you on the list.

Doc Holiday has promised me that she will campaign for treats for all doggies. She will also campaign for equal rights for Canine - Americans as well as Feline - Americans.

Join the Purrfect campaign!

Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead
Chairpoodle - Dogs for Doc
Honorary Chairpoodle - Doc Holiday Is Purrfect for America