EX-CLUSIVE: PIG BOULDEN QUITS DOC HOLIDAY CAMPAIGN

Pig Boulden has just informed me he cannot in good conscience continue as Pug-Co-Chair of the Doc Holiday, Purrfect (?) for America Campaign. He feels after Doc so cruelly blinded him when he was a baby pug-let that Doc has a serious problem with anger management and is not kind to Canine-Americans.

So I ask you, do you really think Doc Holiday is Purrfect for America?

Rumsfeld
Too Cute to Be Bad!

BOORRRING!

I don't know about you, but all this debate kitty-litter-poo is making me bored! Doc is on an ego trip.

I'm going to have a nap. Trust me, Doc's napping as much as I am.

Rumsfeld
Too Cute to be Bad!

BREAKING EXPOSE: IS DOC HOLIDAY ILL?

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If you don't hear it from me, I doubt if anyone else will tell you. DOC HOLIDAY IS ILL. I think she is seriously ill. Frankly, I think she is too sick (mentally) to be President of the United States. She goes around coughing all the time. She coughs and coughs and coughs, then gets really nasty with me. Mommy says it is because she has a fur ball, but between us, I think it is MUCH MUCH WORSE. When Doc was a baby she had kitty herpes. I think she is sick again.

DOC HOLIDAY THE PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW - HOW SICK ARE YOU?

If you are watching the big debate, maybe you should ask - is Doc Holiday Purrfect for America?

Why is Doc Holiday hiding her condition from her supporters?

Is she afraid we will dump her when we discover the truth?

I AM A BLESSED POODLE-AMERICAN!

Wednesday evening my mommy let me put on my new T-shirt (Too Cute to Be Scary) and then we went to St. Francis Day at church. It was lots of fun. I got to see my half-brother Zach! This year he was the one who got in trouble. So did his "sister" Peaches. Peaches has a tragic story. She was born during the bad horrorcane in New Orleans and had to be rescued with her mommy. She now has a good home and is happy. But she got fussed at too!

For the first time I was the bestest behaved poodle in church!

Then, Fr. Tom blessted me. Fr. Tom is cool. He even knew Ronald Reagan. Now how great is that - me, Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead being blessed by a priest who knew Ronald Reagan! Fr. Tom has only been a priest for a little while, but my mommy says he's gonna be a great priest. We waz all extited when he gotted to be one.

Wanna know why?

Fr. Tom likes people like me. He and his family have horses, pony, cats, dogs, a bird, and they even have a brain damaged cat that Victoria rescued. They're good people. I think it is important for people like me to be blested by priestests like Fr. Tom who love us. After all, that's what St. Francis did was love little people like me.

(Grin)

Now, see how sweet this article is? Let's see if Doc Holiday Purrfect for America? can top it! Cute wins - always!

Rumsfeld
Too Cute to Be Bad!